Sometimes I Feel Like God is like my Parents

He/they may have created me but they don't understand me.

He/they don't understand my innermost struggles and greatest desires.

He/they hear me but don't comprehend me.

He/they don't understand my desire for financial autonomy and the hell I have gone through to try and achieve it.


Me me me me me, I know its all about me. But I am a generous me and without the financial autonomy I can't be that side of me. I would rather spend on others than myself......kind of like my father. Sometimes I think we don't feel worthy or that its right to spend on ourselves.

I'm better than you.....I hate condescending people!

As of late I have come in contact with a couple people who seem to exemplify the persona of the Condescender.

Its hard to pin down because you know that 'apparently'they have the 'best' interests in their arguements for the improvement of others but then they begin to lecture and lecture and lecture..... And then you just want to punch them in the face.

Or they say snide insinuating remarks that are not affirming at all! Like ya I think next time you could do this better or next time can you do this instead of that. Or little belittleing comments that don't seem like much but then they begin to pile up and pile up and become this big mamoth red hot iron that brands the person(s) they are referring to as a slab of "your not that special to me" jargon. And I'm more interested in what you could be than what you are.

In our Christian culture we are always trying to improve ourselves or help others improve who they are. Well I suggest that we start AFFIRMING others more! Lets build them up instead of tearing them down.

I know that these Condescenders have insecurity issues with themselves and that is why they are the way that they are but it is still no excuse for such jevenile behaviour. Get over yourselves already! If only I could scream that at such a persons face.

Dear Blog God

I feel like everything is out of my control......and it is. Help me to surrender it to you.

A Must See Movie!

Be Kind Rewind

This looks hilarious! Who wants to see it with me?!?

Know me!

When I am getting to know people I ask them a lot of questions. I can always tell if they are not interested in me or are self centred if in return they do not ask me any questions about who I am.

If you want to know me then ask me questions about myself.

My First Kiss

Was in kindergarten. Their was a boy by the name of Jamie Anderson, he had bright blue eyes and sandy blond hair that had the most prominent cow licks I have ever seen in my life! I didn’t think much of Jamie. In fact I had a naïve crush on Ryan Lyndsay but Ryan liked Melissa Hillmann. Ryan liked Melissa so much that when I caught up with him 2 years ago he was sad that Melissa hadn’t waited for him and gone and married another guy. Buddy you didn’t even pay attention to her in high school!?!
Jamie lived behind my friends the Habiebes (they were from Iraq), one day while I was visiting the Habiebes I went over to his house to play. At the time he was playing a kissing game with some other girl and asked me if I wanted to play. I didn’t really say that I did but somehow he got the impression I wanted to. When it came time to kiss him I just kind of stood their deliberating about whether to do it or not and then he got the other girl to demonstrate for me how to do it. I relented and kissed him a couple times. The other little girl and I took turns kissing him. Jamie then wanted me to go a step further and French kiss him. I wasn’t too sure about how to do that so he explained that you put your tongue in the other persons mouth. I didn’t want to do it but Jamie got the other little girl to demonstrate for me. I tried but could not bring myself to do it. No matter how much Jamie tried to coax me to French kiss him I couldn’t do it.
And that is the story of my first kiss. I started young, it was more about curiosity than enjoyment.

Swinging on the Swing Set

This past weekend my cousin Brittany and I took our younger cousin Lukas from Germany to Canada's Wonderland. The night before we went for a walk and showed him the University of Guelph. On the way back we stopped at the park. I saw the swing set and started swinging on one of he swings. Brittany soon joined me and asked Lukas if he wanted to swing. He staunchly refused saying it was too childish. This coming from a boy who is 10 years younger than me.
As we swung I felt this bubble of laughter come out of the depths of my soul. A laughter I forgot I had because it was a long time since I had used it. Britt and I hooped and hollered as we pumped our legs to go higher and higher into the humid night air that surrounded us and tried to touch the full orange moon that looked down on us. Thier was something about swinging on swings and being around precious Brittany that reminded me once again who I am. I am the free spirited, brutally honest, laugh machine Adrienne and I love it! I guess sometimes you lose yourself and you just need someone who knows and cares for you to help you find it again. I hadn't realized the saddness that had so deeply enveloped me until that night. Mom and Joh had said they had sensed a saddness about me but I just thought they didn't know how to take my quiet disposition. I think what they really meant was that they hadn't heard my laughter in awhile.