Self Talk

Words of Wisdom

1. Their will always be someone better than you. Do the best that you can because you'll be better than someone else.

2. Sale isn't another word for Buy. Don't buy it unless you need it in the future ie:soap.

3. Dance your heart out!

My female singer/song writer hero Leslie Feist


I will buy every singe one of her CDs!

A Mish Mash of Thoughts

I am trying to only blog once a week so that I can stay in reality and not just in the internet community. So I have been thinking of tons of things to blog about but restricting myself in the use of the internet. That means I can't even edit my horrendous grammatical errors! Gahhhhh, that is torture!
Last time I wrote I forgot to tell you something about my fast that I found interesting. At the beginning of my fast I felt pretty good about it but then i realized I began to get bored more easily because I wasn't spending/wasting my time on the internet or watching movies. To fill my time I found myself going out and buying little doo dads that I wanted. Nothing super expensive but I really don't have a lot of money to be spending it on stuff. It isn't my fault entirely that I like things. My parents like stuff, we are frugle but we buy small things ie: dad likes to buy mom knick knacks as gifts and mom is always buying melittle things like ugly key chains, smelly perfumes etc etc for me. When I was a little girl when ever my parents went away they would bring me something back that was some what frivolous and served no purpose except to spoil me. Some things I bought during Lent that I didn't really need but really wanted were 2 Italian scarves and curvey pilsner beer glasses. Although I didn't need them they sure are pretty!






Random Thought
I'd rather look like a fairy than a hooker. I think that those new patent leather shoes that are so trendy look like hooker shoes. Half those younge girls who wear them don't even know how to walk in them. Since when did tall and clumsy become hot? What about short and dainty? I would rather wear those hindi inspired ballerina slippers and look some what graceful.


My towns people in my little stuck in the mud home town have been complaining about one the churches in my town. This church would like to have a shelter for the local street people. They actually want to provide some sort of haven for the hopeless, something my town is not very good at. Well the nieghbors are not too happy about this since is will be bringing in some seedy characters.
What I don't get is that only a couple blocks away is a porn shop. It just opened last year and nobody except for my friend complained about it. I believe her exact words to the city council man who took her call were "Have You Ever Been Raped?!?". Oh Steph you are the greatest!!!!*
Think about it they are complaining about an organization that wants to better the town and then we have the other extreme with the porn shop! A business that encourages the degredation of humans into sex toys. Their is a reason why their is such thing as a sex addict. Boys and girls can you say the words Rapist - Pedophile. Oh small home town how you are the pain in my ass!

My friend and pastor Joe is always coming up with creative ways of advertising for our monthyly agendas. I'm not sure if this was Joe's or Nathan's idea but I think that it is pretty great! Definetly eye catching! Don't you think?




I am showing the movie Simon Birch to my Leaders in Training group and I must say it has some great one liners. Here are two one liners I really like! Tee-Hee
(As Simon and Joe get into the cold water in the Corey)
"My balls just turned into marbles" "My balls just turned into bee-bees"
"My balls just turned into marbles" " My balls just turned into raisins"

Things from the 80's I will never wear again and hope never come back in style:

1.Unitards 2.Jumpers 3.Overalls 4.Sack style dresses 5.Night Gowns 6.Yellow gold 7.Zip Up Pyjamas 8.Big ass Sunday hats 9.Jelly shoes 10.Acid wash denim 11.Skinny jeans 12.Scrunchies 13.French braids 14.Bicycle shorts 15.Joggin suits 16. Slouchy shirts with a knot on the side. 16.Plaid lumberjack shirts 17.Floral print sunday dresses 18.Vests! 19.Teased bangs in a swooping band to the side. 20.Hot pink lip-stick 21.Mustaches 22.Madonna style braziers 23.Splash paints 24.Fanny sacks 25.Hammer pants 26.Hight cut pants and skirts

Things fromt the 80's I will wear again:
1.Leg Warmers! 2.Tights 3.Polka Dots 4.Big-ass dangly earings 5.Things with modern style lace 5.Fourescent! 7.Bangles 8.Canvas deck shoes 9.Scarves 10.Pumps 11.Long knecklaces 12.Broaches 13.Fish nets 14.Leggings 15.Teal 16.Lunch pails with matching thermoses 17. Tams (french hat) 18. Angora (I hate bunnies, they stink, poop everywhere, chew anything, scratch). 19.Mauve 20. Peach


*Her house is just around the corner from it.

Back Online After Lent (Hurray for Pictures!)

So I'm back online and just like any other fast I am going to slowly get back on here.
Lets see....surprisingly a lot of things have actually happened in my life.
1. I did the March break day camp at the Y, that took a good 3 weeks out of my life.
-I accidentally called one of the kid's mom grandma....."Joey say good bye to grandma" Ooops!
2. My grandma's husband died.
-As selfish as this sounds I feel like I have my grandma back after seven years. Her husband was not abusive just very egalitarian and ordered her around a lot. He liked his routine! My granny is very independant and to see her reduced to a servant angered me.
3. I went away on retreat to a convent in the Tdot.
-I met a man.....he was 95! Too cute! It was a beautiful day on the tuesday afternoon I sat down to pray on a bench and soon I see a figure in the distance slowly chugging my way. Well eventually that figure approached me on the bench and asked me for a seat. I was kind of ticked by the interuption but gently reminded myself that this could be an encounter arranged by God. His ailment..... loneliness. His name is Oscar and his wife died 8 months ago.

The path next door at the mental health ward

<
My room at the convent
\


I was playinging with the affects on the camera


I walked in the labrynth




Spring has come!

A candid shot, it wasn't intentional...



4. I got sick for 2 weeks :(
-I haven't been sick for that long since I was a kid!
5. I wrote a long much needed letter to a few old friends who have mentored me.
Okay now that I have written down those things they don't look that big but honestly those things took up some huge chunks of time.

Thoughts I have been swirling around in my head??? One of the traits I despise about people are people who pretend to be something they are not. I can't stand people who are fake. And I have been thinking about how unreliable my own emotions are. They kind of phib to me. I don't trust my feelings anymore. My dad taught me to quetion things all the time and to not just take peoples word as truth. I think he didn't want me to buy into everything some dynamic personality could sell me. Well now I am questioning myself, my feelings change at a whim! Especially when it is the full moon!



I can't trust myself, I wonder sometimes why I find some things funny? I'll ask myself what about that do I find so funny? Is it because that person is poking fun at another? Is it because I am making fun of someone or trying to make myself feel more important than that person? Anyway I think emotions are unreliable and hate that I'm a closet emotional person. I would like to conceal my feelings so that not everyone can tell what I'm feeling by the expression on my face. Like when i cry in a movie or when I blush because I feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. My friend Jen use to go so red and I would make fun of her all the time. Then when I got into my 20s I developed the same annoying tendencie (shakes fist at God) Thanks for the Karma God! My Emotions lie to me all the time!