Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Back Online After Lent (Hurray for Pictures!)

So I'm back online and just like any other fast I am going to slowly get back on here.
Lets see....surprisingly a lot of things have actually happened in my life.
1. I did the March break day camp at the Y, that took a good 3 weeks out of my life.
-I accidentally called one of the kid's mom grandma....."Joey say good bye to grandma" Ooops!
2. My grandma's husband died.
-As selfish as this sounds I feel like I have my grandma back after seven years. Her husband was not abusive just very egalitarian and ordered her around a lot. He liked his routine! My granny is very independant and to see her reduced to a servant angered me.
3. I went away on retreat to a convent in the Tdot.
-I met a man.....he was 95! Too cute! It was a beautiful day on the tuesday afternoon I sat down to pray on a bench and soon I see a figure in the distance slowly chugging my way. Well eventually that figure approached me on the bench and asked me for a seat. I was kind of ticked by the interuption but gently reminded myself that this could be an encounter arranged by God. His ailment..... loneliness. His name is Oscar and his wife died 8 months ago.

The path next door at the mental health ward

My room at the convent

I was playinging with the affects on the camera

I walked in the labrynth

Spring has come!

A candid shot, it wasn't intentional...

4. I got sick for 2 weeks :(
-I haven't been sick for that long since I was a kid!
5. I wrote a long much needed letter to a few old friends who have mentored me.
Okay now that I have written down those things they don't look that big but honestly those things took up some huge chunks of time.

Thoughts I have been swirling around in my head??? One of the traits I despise about people are people who pretend to be something they are not. I can't stand people who are fake. And I have been thinking about how unreliable my own emotions are. They kind of phib to me. I don't trust my feelings anymore. My dad taught me to quetion things all the time and to not just take peoples word as truth. I think he didn't want me to buy into everything some dynamic personality could sell me. Well now I am questioning myself, my feelings change at a whim! Especially when it is the full moon!

I can't trust myself, I wonder sometimes why I find some things funny? I'll ask myself what about that do I find so funny? Is it because that person is poking fun at another? Is it because I am making fun of someone or trying to make myself feel more important than that person? Anyway I think emotions are unreliable and hate that I'm a closet emotional person. I would like to conceal my feelings so that not everyone can tell what I'm feeling by the expression on my face. Like when i cry in a movie or when I blush because I feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. My friend Jen use to go so red and I would make fun of her all the time. Then when I got into my 20s I developed the same annoying tendencie (shakes fist at God) Thanks for the Karma God! My Emotions lie to me all the time!

1 comment:

Ron Smith said...

Please dont tell me you gave up blogging for lent... I dont understand why you didnt drop that drug addiction for lent.