Monday, March 9, 2009
Current meanderings in my mind and MORE teenage boy stories.<---Beware stream of thought dialogue.<----Beware stream of thought dialogue.
So lately I've been feeling really conflicted about staying and going/throwing down roots/being a transient. I've been a transient for a good eight or so years now and I'm tired of it. I guess I'm tired of being the type of transient that has no money and time to spend with people. But I still want to travel and live in different places....but I'm tired of going through friends like they are going out of style, I want relationships that stick....relationships are hard! Yet, all of my friends are transients like me as well. I struggle with living in different countries as a teacher or if I want to stay in Toronto. I have this dream of settling in a good sized place, hosting dinner parties and setting my table with my collection of accumulated depression glass. I'm torn because I love adventure too and want to travel. Maybe when I'm able to teach and have money to spare for more than once a month splurges on eating out plus a movie I'll be able to go out more. Plus I'm tired of only having church friends! I want to meet people who aren't just church people, I'd like to join a climbing gym, take some cooking classes, take some hip-hop classes and join a book club. All these things require spare cash that I don't have.
Okay now for the good stuff. So at work (I work at a refugee shelter) we have some teenage boys from a country near Russia and MAN do they give me the come hither gaze, its a little bit intimidating. They are pretty cute and if I was a lot younger I'd be really excited, I don't think they realize how old I am. Ya, I still got it at 28.
The other night at work I was talking with a resident from Latin America who is in his early twenties and I mentioned a movie I wanted to see. Weeeellll he asked me when I wanted to see it and I said I didn't know just because I don't have a lot of time or money to do things like that. He then said that if I were to go he wouldn't mind going with me. Gah!!! I then told him I wasn't aloud to do things with residents outside of the shelter for legal reasons, phew saved by my work policies!!! Still I have to give him props, white guys in Canada don't give me the time of day.
This past Friday I went out with my new friend Jenna, we stopped in at thee most incredible music store on College St. and we were perusing their vast indie/eclectic music collection. Jenna was naming off a bunch of artists she loved, half I knew and the other half I didn't, I felt so out of the music scene loop. I exclaimed that "I was too busy to be hip" anymore. Seriously I don't have time to stay up to date with music anymore, yeh growing up:(.