Dear Billy Bob Thornton

I AM POUTINE!

ADriEnne Broke Up A Fight at Her School

So last Tuesday I was waitting for the bus when a fight broke out.

Its funny because the week before I had been remembering a time when I volunteered at a youth drop-in in Sarn-hole in 06-07 and a fight broke out that I had tried to prevent. At the time I didn't feel like 'I' was the right person to break up the rumblings of the storm because of my gender and stature.

To this day I keep replaying the scene in my head because I was the only person who saw it coming, instead when I said something to my male counterpart to try and calm the situation he was too lazy to get up and break the two boys up.

The one boy was extremly intoxicated and the other just wanted to fight for the sake of venting his pent up anger/rage at the world on someone else. The fight escalated into a terf war between drop-in kids and skate park kids. I remember standing in front of the sober fight instigator and pushing skater boy's girlfriends off of him because they were drunk and want to get a couple shots in on him too. The fight ended with blood and the cops.

One of the girlfriends shoved me hard from behind, the kids from the drop-in were quite upset by this and asked me if I wanted them to kick her ass, I didn't. Still I was touched by their concern for me.

Anyway I was recently thinking about this past incident and how I just should have stood between the two guys despite my stature and gender.

So on Friday lil o'l me was standing at the bus stop, I had seen a group of guys running around with this wild look in their eyes so I knew something was up. Then at one point two boys burst out of doors near her bus stop. One banged on the glass for emphasis then the boy beside him turned and started throwing punches, shortly after four other boys jumped in and started throwing punches. It was five on one. I thought they would just get their punches in and then walk away... but no, it continued. A crowd was gathering, one girl was getting upset but no one was stepping in to intervene.

So I decided to step in and pull a mama bear because no one else was. I started shouting in my firmest commanding voice "STOP IT, GET OFF OF HIM." I tried to weasel my way in and break it up but the punches were flying too fast. Finally two other taller male bystanders pulled them apart. Two guys fled the scene and three stayed to taunt the guy, and try to get in a few more shots. I then stood in the middle of them, the three guys started to circle around to try and get to him, so I stood between him and them. They noticed me and kind of looked at me funny but continued on in their taunts. Finally the wounded guy left, I scolded the two remainders with "you guys are acting like idiots!"

By that time the bus had arrived so I got on. The funny thing is no one would look at me, no one even asked if I was alright, even though I was shaking like a leaf.

When I was interviewing my grandma this week for my Life Writing class about her thoughts on the response of the German people to the Holocaust she said she was ashamed of her elders for not doing anything about it (She is orig from Germany). I told her my story from last week and she was so proud of me. When I told her about the people's lack of concern for me she said it was because they were ashamed that they hadn't stepped in themselves... I'm not sure if she's right...sometimes I think that people are just so desensitized that they like seeing a good fight, its a source of entertainment. I dunno, thats my long story.

Undeliverable Letters (Some things are just better un-said)

Dear Crush,
I pretend I just want to be friends but I would like to have more with you. I didn't think that my infatuation would get this far or that I would even find you attractive. I'm sorry for putting you in this position but I guess I just need a verbal confirmation from you that you are not interested/attracted to me so that I can stop hoping for the none-existent and move on. I've learned to never assume anything and I'm tired of having to remind myself that you don't call me or ask me to do things so that means you just aren't that into me. Please don't try to soften your response to me, I need brutal rejection.

Dear Crush,
I wish I never laid eyes on you and saw your sweetness for what it really was.

Dear Crush,
I hate you for being so great. I don't want to think about you anymore.

Best None Dairy Milk Shake Alternative EVER!

Velvet Elvis Smoothie

1 FROZEN banana
Almond Butter
Almond Milk
Cinnamon
Cocoa Camino Cocoa

Put in Blender and Voila!

Current meanderings in my mind and MORE teenage boy stories.<---Beware stream of thought dialogue.<----Beware stream of thought dialogue.

So lately I've been feeling really conflicted about staying and going/throwing down roots/being a transient. I've been a transient for a good eight or so years now and I'm tired of it. I guess I'm tired of being the type of transient that has no money and time to spend with people. But I still want to travel and live in different places....but I'm tired of going through friends like they are going out of style, I want relationships that stick....relationships are hard! Yet, all of my friends are transients like me as well. I struggle with living in different countries as a teacher or if I want to stay in Toronto. I have this dream of settling in a good sized place, hosting dinner parties and setting my table with my collection of accumulated depression glass. I'm torn because I love adventure too and want to travel. Maybe when I'm able to teach and have money to spare for more than once a month splurges on eating out plus a movie I'll be able to go out more. Plus I'm tired of only having church friends! I want to meet people who aren't just church people, I'd like to join a climbing gym, take some cooking classes, take some hip-hop classes and join a book club. All these things require spare cash that I don't have.

Okay now for the good stuff. So at work (I work at a refugee shelter) we have some teenage boys from a country near Russia and MAN do they give me the come hither gaze, its a little bit intimidating. They are pretty cute and if I was a lot younger I'd be really excited, I don't think they realize how old I am. Ya, I still got it at 28.

The other night at work I was talking with a resident from Latin America who is in his early twenties and I mentioned a movie I wanted to see. Weeeellll he asked me when I wanted to see it and I said I didn't know just because I don't have a lot of time or money to do things like that. He then said that if I were to go he wouldn't mind going with me. Gah!!! I then told him I wasn't aloud to do things with residents outside of the shelter for legal reasons, phew saved by my work policies!!! Still I have to give him props, white guys in Canada don't give me the time of day.

This past Friday I went out with my new friend Jenna, we stopped in at thee most incredible music store on College St. and we were perusing their vast indie/eclectic music collection. Jenna was naming off a bunch of artists she loved, half I knew and the other half I didn't, I felt so out of the music scene loop. I exclaimed that "I was too busy to be hip" anymore. Seriously I don't have time to stay up to date with music anymore, yeh growing up:(.

Because I'm a Fakebook Narcissist

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I don’t wear pastel colours or pigtails because they are associated with youth-fullness. I’m tired of being thought of as 7-8 years younger than what I really am. The only pastel I wear is light yellow because it matches my hair.

2. I don’t do well with groups of people over eight in number if I don’t know anyone.

3. I have three middle names; Grace, Trudy, Karen.

4. I was prom queen at my high school. They pulled my name out of a hat. When they called my name my girlfriends didn’t think I was really ‘thee prom queen’ and said that they must have called up another girl named Amy Archer. I didn’t go up.

5. One time I won Chubby Bunny. I had 15 marshmallows stuck in my cheeks.

6. I’ve been trying to look at God through the lens of androgyny for the past four years.

7. I’m competitive but I have no hand eye coordination

8. When I become an old women I want my hair to turn completely white, not gray.

9. When I was a little girl and I was about to get a spanking for being bad I would hide under my bed. Mom would try to drag me out but I would hold onto the legs of the bed.

10. I avoid awkward moments and conflict like an animal trying to bite it’s leg off from a trap.

11. Sometimes I think I love like a kid who squeezes their hamster to death.

12. I’m brutally honest, this inhibits me from saying things like “I just want you to be happy.” However I’m learning you don’t keep friends this way, sooo “I just want you to be happy?”

13. My parents and I all have birthdays on the ninth. Jan. 9th, Aug. 9th, and Aug. 29th.

14. TV, Radio, and Music personalities I have crushes on: George Strombou….., the character Jim from The Office, Jhian Ghomeshi, and Stephen Christian (Anberlin).

15. My first kiss was in kindergarten, by a boy named Jamie Anderson. He wanted me to French kiss him (I didn't). EWWWwwww.

16. Places I would like to live: Korea, Japan, NYC, Paris, San Francisco (Valley), British Colombia, Halifax.

17. I’m an ice-cream connoisseur. Top brands: B&J’s, Ed’s Ice-cream (Beaches), Slicker’s (Picton), Dairy-Queen, Giradelli Sundaes (San Fran, Down Town Disney), Soft Serve from that Place in Belleville, Kawartha Lake’s Dairy (Bancroft), some place on College that makes their own, Hollywood Gelato (Younge and Eglinton).

18. I wrote this in celebration of mid-terms ending. It was something frivolous to do.

19. When I was a pre-teen I wanted to be a dancer on Electric Circus.

20. I can tell what type of personality a person has by the type of handshake they give me. I can also tell a lot about a person by the type of hug they give me ie: the molesting hug.

21. I’m a bit of a snoop:). I have this odd curiosity of looking in people’s bathroom cupboards.

22. One day I’d like to spend a good 7 or 8 hundred dollars, and rent a hot Ferrari or some other hot car like that for a day.

23. When I was 10 or 11 I wrote Donny Walhberg of New Kids On The Block a love letter. I told him about how great I was domestically. I’ve often wondered if after they washed up they took the time to read their fan mail? I’ve imagine Donny all old and wrinkled showing up on my door-step proposing to me. CREEPY!

24. If I like a guy I will never tell him. (Yes, Mike i stole that from your sister's list).

25. It really annoys me when my mom passes me the phone to talk to a relative when I don’t feel like talking to them.

Pure Art! J'adore

New music to jam out to, the vid kind of has a Warhol factory feel to it.